I have been back to Jones a few times recently and feel the need to update my review. If you are going to call yourself an "80's & 90's dance club" and have plenty of ambiance and decor to reinforce this idea you should be playing music from the 80's and 90's.
The last two visits I have made to Jones have had a little music from the 80's and 90's decades with more and more current music seeming to take over. I really used to love coming here to get my dance on because the music was great and I knew what I was going to get after paying my cover fee. I now feel pretty reluctant to frequent this place anymore and it makes me sad.
7 years ago (19-09-2017)
The idea and theme of the place is incredible- 90's and 80's music bellows through the open gallery and the walls are adorned with pictures of various celebrities from the era.
However, the bar service is a different story. The bartender ignored my two friends and I for 5 minutes and didn't even attempt to make eye contact. The only beer they have is bottled beer that would only be drank by the spiked-hair douchers decked out in ridiculous button ups and goofy dress shoes in an attempt to recapture their youth (didn't even have a beer on tap!
They claimed they "still were getting that situated" though they've been open for a years.. Paying five dollars for any bottle of beer is robbery to me, even if it is a ninkasi.
The only redeeming quality of this place is the late night food menu. The dude from bigass is their cook so though I have not tried the cuisine, I'm sure it will not disappoint.
All in all though, this place is overpriced, lame, and only plays the most cliche 90's hits that make you wanna cringe. Go to boiler room or anywhere else in old town, cause this place sucks.
6 years ago (03-12-2017)
I have been to Jones multiple times in the past and have had good experiences, but after last night I will not be going back. Since when were the Seattle Mariners not a local team to Portland? The bouncer asked if I had been to Jones before, which I had. And worn my Mariners cap before. I thought it was a joke. I don't know why I paid you $10 when I could've turned around. Where is the next closest MLB team? As upset as I am, and as ridiculous and unnecessary that rule is, I understand to an extent this morning. But you're going to lose a lot of good customers who don't cause any trouble. Maybe something to consider.
7 years ago (21-05-2017)
Overpriced and racist. Staff was rude and didn't play much 80s or 90s music. Never go there.
7 years ago (13-08-2017)
I almost never give 2 star reviews. I can usually find enough objective good about a place to give it three stars. However, this place barely escaped a one star for me.
For a place that bills itself as a 80's and 90's club, they played very little identifiable music from that era. Also, the DJ kept starting and stopping the music and putting record scratches over songs in places that it really wasn't called for.
There were several bachelorette parties going on along with a lot of skeezy dudes just looking to get laid. It made the whole vibe weird and creepy.
With the music turned up so loud, you feel the beat rattling your bladder, the stuffiness of having all of those bodies in such a tiny space, the lights going off in crazy patterns that seemed more intentioned to induce epileptic seizures than add to atmosphere, and the suffocation of the chemical from the fog machine preventing you from taking a full breath, there is literally no way to be physically comfortable in this space.
The grilled cheese with tomato and bacon I ordered was well toasted on the outside, but I had a hard time feeling like they should have advertised it as "add bacon and tomato for an extra dollar". That bacon was nearly non-existent. The French fries were some of the best I've ever had.
The decor was interesting, fun and true to the 80's/90's theme. This, and the French fries kept it out of the 1* review territory.
7 years ago (24-07-2017)